This post may contain affiliate links. That means if you click on a link and make a purchase, I will receive an affiliate commission at no extra cost to you. All opinions are my own
If you’ve ever reached a point when something has to give, I’m here to tell you–It’s OK to say NO. You’re overwhelmed, burned out, maxed out, and can’t keep up this pace. As moms we need to know our limits and respect those limits for the good of ourselves and our family.
I know because I’ve been there. In fact, that’s why followers on this blog haven’t heard from me in more than two years.
I’ve really loved blogging and having an outlet for writing, sharing, creating, etc. It was such a fun space for me to feel like I’m not just a mom. I had a thing. It wasn’t about the money, but it felt so good to bring in the little that I’ve brought in through this blog. It was affirming. It was challenging and rewarding.
But I reached my point when something has to give
From two years ago: I think I’ve finally hit my wall of what I can and cannot handle. Having four kids under the age of five is proving to be a lot harder than I thought, at least during this newborn stage. Actually I think we might be through the newborn stage. My baby is almost 5 months old. Only he’s still sleeping like a newborn (waking up several times during the night) despite my best efforts, so this mama is not getting more than a few hours of sleep at a time for about 5 months now.
I’m very tired, but it’s more than that. Taking a nap or having an extra cup of coffee is not what I need (although I wouldn’t mind either!). I’ve reached the point when something has to give.
Because here’s the thing: this is a full-time job. It requires every bit of me right now, and that means I need to say no to other things, like this blog.
<insert tired and honest mom rant>
This is the hardest I’ve ever worked in my entire life, by a lot. It’s draining on so many levels to constantly be meeting every need these four little people have 24/7. Here’s a glimpse from earlier today:
My 22 month old screamed the whole way home from church, saying Mommy over and over again. That’s her new favorite word to accurately pronounce, and she practices about 1,000 times per day. Once we got home, I got the bags, the baby, and the crying toddler inside, washed the toddler’s hand, and then hear from the bathroom from my 3 year old, Mommy, my peepee’s coming out. And out it came, all over the bathroom floor. All while the toddler is almost making herself throw up because of how hard she’s crying (she wanted Elmo). I get her down for her nap, help my 3 year old change his clothes, clean the floor, fill the soap which apparently ran out and he was freaking out because he had nothing to wash his collection of popsicle sticks with (an absolute necessity before he would take a nap), picked up the baby who was tired of waiting on me to get him out of his infant seat, got my 4 year old set up with room time, hugged and kissed my 3 year old and his popsicle sticks (per his request), fed the baby, changed a diaper, wiped a poopy 3 year old’s bottom, put a load of laundry in (from the accident), and all of that was in the span of about 20 minutes.
Whew! I know it’s only been a couple years since that crazy season, but I’m tired just reading it.
Are you feeling like you’re just a mom?
This is a full-time job!
You’re just a mom every second of the day, each and every day. I hope you choose to feel affirmed in that role, all by itself. I’m a stay-at-home-mom and I don’t bring in an income and I don’t have a platform and I don’t get raises or performance reviews, but at the end of the day I get to sit with my kids and read to them and pray with them and know that they got the very best of me that day.
If that’s ever not the case, let’s reevaluate what we need to say no to–even if we want to say yes. The days are long but the years are short.
What are you saying yes to when you should be saying no?
You are a mom! If that’s the only thing at the end of the day you can claim as your purpose, that is enough. It’s more than enough! .
We only have one shot at childhood with our kids. For me, there wasn’t enough left over for trying to grow a blog two years ago. They needed every bit of my energy and focus. I have so much respect for moms who do this so successfully with babies and pregnancy. I truly don’t know how you do it.
I’m hoping that I can get back at it now because I really do love it so much and I only wipe bums 5 times a day now instead of 20, like 2 years ago. So maybe there’s a chance. Haha!